~ So wise and only Five Lol ~

So out of boredom I decided I would interview my 5 year old, and blog the results. In no particular order, I just randomly started asking him questions, and this is what came of it. I cant believe some of his answers, he had me laughing the whole time. He really can  be quite entertaining at times just read for your self…

*What is your Favorite color?
Green.


*What is your Favorite food?
Scrambled eggs


*What is your Favorite movie?
Scooby-doo.


*Who is your Favorite person?
My dog, cousin, mom, dad, brother, sister and myself.


*Do you like school? 
Not really. I do like recess, and the bears, and food, that’s all.

*What is the coolest thing you have ever done?
Make new friends a long time ago, when i just moved here, a long time ago.


*Who is the nicest person you know? 
My cousin, dog, brother, not really, Sister, not really. Mom and dad, mostly every one. Except not a robber. Of course not a robber, right mama?


*Why is important to be nice?
Mom and dad wouldn’t say it, but it just is.


*Why do kids go to school?
You have to. If your sick you don’t have to.


*Why is there money? 
Because if there wasnt, you couldnt even eat anything, or buy anything.


*Are you going to get married? 
Ya!


*How old will u be when u get married? 
17 or a grown up age. Ya! a grown up age. Right mama?


*Will u have kids?
Ya!


*How many kids will you have?
80! No I’m just kidding. He he he….  2


*Why 2 kids?
Because… Maybe 1?  maybe 3?  Maybe,  Maybe, Maybe.


*Is there a God?
Ya!


*How do you know that there is a God?
My sister and brother told me. Because if you die, there wouldnt be nobody up there for you.


*What does God look like?
He has a huge foot , a huge head, a huge nose, a huge butt, a huge stomach, a huge flip flop and that’s all.


*Have you ever talked to God?
No! what do you think, man??? Only if i got knocked out, ya.


*What happens when you dream? 
Nightmares or sleepy stories,don’t know what that is I just said it.


*Did you dream last night ? 
Ya, about a bat moth. It made the sound like you  “EEEEhhhh”
*Occasionally, when I have bad dreams, I scream myself awake. From what I have been told, It sounds much like a dying cat. Lol*


*How did I end up as your mom?
You was a little kid. You had a baby and the doctor helped you take it out.


*How did you end up as my son?
I was in your belly button, and whatever you ate I ate. Blah! broccoli. I don’t like broccoli.


*If you had a dollar what would you buy?
A toy, and food, and 800 dollars?


*You can buy all of that for a dollar?
Ya, maybe, sure.

*What if you had 100 dollars, what would you buy? 
Everything. Except for knifes. Maybe one.


*Why would you need to buy a knife?
To cut stuff. Maybe broccoli, potatoes, carrots.


*Do you remember when you were a baby? 
Only when i was 4.

*What do you remember about being 4? 
Just my birthday. Only my birthday nothing else.

*Is it easy for you to make friends?
Not really.


*Do you have friends? 
Um, Ya!! whole bunch at school and at my friends house.

*What is your favorite thing about dad?
Hes the best. He can fix anything. Except for that one thing I said.


*What is your favorite thing about mom?
Umm your so lazy. ha ha 
*he found this reply to be so funny*


*What is your favorite thing about your brother? 
He is so lazy. Oh I mean no. He’s not lazy.


*What is your favorite thing about your sister?
She is lazier than everyone.  She whines about everything.


*What makes someone mean?
Teasing them.


*Who do you know that’s mean?
 My cousin, when i make him mean. If I want him to chase me, I make him mean.


*Why do dogs bark? 
To tell other dogs I poop here, I live here.


*Who is the smartest person you know? 
A genius. You , my brother, dad and my dog.

*What are you going to be when u grow up?
A cop or whatever my cousin is going to be.


*Why a cop?
Because my cousin wants to be a cop and hes my bestest buddy
.

*What happens when peole get old? 
Die, and it would hurt. and you would be a zombie or a ghost.


*Have u ever seen a zombie or ghost? 
No. My friend did. He saw a ghost and it tried to throw a toy at the back of his head, and it tried to save him from a mean ghost that throws some stuff around the house.

Then he looked at me all seriously and asked: “Do cops get old? Huh, mama”? 
I said: “Yes they do, everyone does.” 
He said: “oh pooh! what about power rangers?’

       Eventually he had enough of my questions and decided that it was time to ask himself two questions. The two questions he asked himself are…..

1. What’s your favorite black color?
 Black green. You mix black with green and its black green.


2.What’s your favorite food color?
 Nothing.

Then it was time for two jokes he made up…

1. Why didn’t the dog go outside?
Because it didnt have the legs for it.

2.Why didn’t the brain go inside of a humans head?
Because it was dead.

   **Just another reminder of why, I am so happy to be a mom; and how having kids can be so much fun!! Especially when they are as cool as mine are…..

~What I put up with..~

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emotion icon Photo credit: Łukasz Strachanowski

How can i feel so much frustration towards him and be so in love at the same time. He can be so fucking irritating. Its as if he goes out of his way to annoy me or pick a fight. It’s ridiculous what all I put up with being married to him. Its never too much though because I continue taking it smiling the whole time.
Granted I have been under an unusual amount of stress lately. It hasn’t helped anything knowing that my meds need some serious adjusting.
All things considered, I might be feeling things too intensely. Its possible I am making it worse than it needs to be. I have been having some major mood swings, even I can see that.
Neither one of us know how to handle our current circumstances. I just can’t understand why we have to be at each others throats all the time. Shouldn’t we be a team? Try to work together? Nope. Not us. That would be the right thing to do and we never do things the right way. We have to learn the hard way.
We both have a hard time processing stress. I freak out, get so emotional and have a panic attack resulting in the need for Ativan aka my happy pills. His method to cope is drinking. Whatever he can get to drown out his problems. He wants to be numb and not have to feel any emotion. Showing emotion, to him, is some sort of character defect. It’s the same as telling everyone you are weak. It’s just not acceptable for him.
It didn’t take long for him to revert back to his old self. All his old habits are creeping back around. He went from being so patient and understanding to “I don’t give a shit and your just crazy”
He is back to drinking and trying to lie about it. Like its not completely obvious he’s stumbling around. Not to mention he slurs his words and nods out. Plus you can smell it on him. He insists he has no problem yet still feels the need to lie about it. So why is that?
I hate fighting with him and that seems to be all we ever do anymore. It’s so exhausting. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to react anymore. Everything winds up being my fault anyways. There is no accountability for him.
When did he become the one in control anyways? I used to be the one in control. Or at the very I wasn’t afraid of defending myself.
I used to think I was so much better than him. That no way he could ever get with anyone else. I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I used to tell people I wasn’t afraid of him fucking around regardless of how many times i did it to him. I was the only one dumb enough to sleep with him.
Well he finally had enough if me fucking whoever I wanted while he waited for me to come home. When we broke up this last time he fucked 2 people. Even though I am way Better than the 2 people he slept with. (one of them was a toothless crack head and the other one had the worlds fattest ass. You have to be careful not to get too close or it will suck you in, and nobody would ever see you again.) That showed me huh? Now that he has been with other people I am not so sure of myself.
I’m scared of pissing him off and pushing him away. So now I pretty much do whatever he says. He is becoming quite controlling. He doesn’t like me talking to certain people. He complains I never leave the house then gets mad when I do. He plays it off like he’s looking out for me and just wants to protect me.
Even though he says he trusts me and insists he has forgiven me. His behavior says otherwise. When he drinks enough it’s a whole different story. He holds nothing back. I hear all about how big of a slut I am… And never mind my feelings, according to him all I care about is fucking. He accuses me of wanting to sleep with every guy we know.
He always finds a way of bringing up how I tried to kill myself. He tells me how hard it was for him, how he can’t forget the image of me swallowing all those pulls. He says that the look that I had on my face haunts him. He says that his worst fear is me taking my life.
There are a few major fucked up things that have happened over the years. We remeHe never has any memories of the times he has clearly been in the wrong. We have opposite memories of what happened that day. I distinctly remember him pushing me outside and locking the door telling me I can’t die in his house. When I was in the hospital I wanted nothing more than for him to come comfort me. I needed him and he basically told me to fuck off. According to him he was the concerned husband and he didn’t come to the hospital because he was too scared to see me like that.
Is he just pretending to love me? Is he really afraid I will do something stupid if he actually leaves me?
It makes me wonder if he regrets getting back together and trying to work out our problems. He has told me that he enjoyed his freedom and not having to answer to anyone but himself while we were separated.
Sometimes the way he looks at me or even talks to me, even just the tone of his voice, makes me question his motives for reconciliation in the first place.
No matter what happens. I will never leave him again. I know without a doubt I am in love with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He will have to be the one to end it and the thought of him doing that is absolutely horrifying. You better believe I’m not going out without a fight. FYI: When I want something bad enough I will get it.

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