~ Not much ~

25042012-000407

So today has been quite a day. A lot has happened, considering I have only been awake for a few hours here and there, I’m not completely sure it all really happened. Lol

I have been sleeping my life away. Nothing abnormal about that. It’s the one guarantee I  got these days…

Well I deleted my Aunt and the rest of the highly destructive family I had off my face book, as well as my husbands and kids profiles. That felt good. A really good friend from my past contacted me via Facebook. It was rally nice hearing from him crazy how much time has gone by and how much has happened in both of our lives. I had so much to say to him IMing on Facebook doesn’t seem to be fast enough for me so  he dowloaded skype just for me Lol.

Seeing him was nice but kinda depressing too. I started remembering all sorts of stuff from back then. Like I got my first tattoo with him. I was a lot more social. I was young and full of life.I was so much happier. I was a completely different person. I was shy but I  wasn’t as scared as I am now. What happened to that person can I get her back?

My husband is signed up with a counselor for meds and to work on his anger issues. He is going to start AA on Monday. He did this all on his own too. Located the places even rode the bus with our youngest on cross town to sign up so I know he is serious about getting help.

What scares me is how he talks about what happened. I feel he fucked up bad. He crossed a line I had no part in that.  He doesnt agree.  My uncle told him if he everputs his hands on me epecially in front of the kids he will have aeal problem. As sweet as that is, myuncle is old and disabled, not really threatning. My husband responded by saying he pushed me and its nobody’s buiness because they don’t have all the facts.

I don’t know why he feels the need to downplay what happened to everyone because when its just us he as no problem saying ” As hard as  I knocked you into the Cabinet you should have a big gash”  lucky for him I don’t bruise easilly. I do have a decent sized bump on my head and from above my right eyebrow to my ear, I am extremely sore.  I can’t even sleep on my right side.

My husbands mother got released from prison and is going go be in a halfway house near us so that’s been anxiety inducing for sure. I guess a lot has been on my mind but that’s all I feel up to sharing for now.

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3 Comments

  1. Your blog seems very honest. Your feelings and what is happening in you life is very~out in the open. I hope the best for you. Things can turn around. Good luck.

  2. i was reading down through your blog and when i came across the part where u deleted most of your family from FB, i found a connection. i have always had family who would as i will say butt in. offering remarks that were hurtful, never volunteering to become a part of my brother and my life but more than willing to offer opinions. i finally had to delete them from my FB in order to have any peace. I know this sounds cruel, it is family, but if they can not be involved as family other than snappy remarks, then i don’t need that in our lives

    • ya, I have been putting up with their opinions and really their abuse for years. Just because they are family I allowed it o go on. My mom passed away and this is her sister so I felt she was the closest thing to my mom I had left. The reality is if my mom was here she would have disowned them years ago…… Thanks for commenting its reassuring to know I’m not alone.


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