~Shut up head! Its time to sleep~

One of several versions of the painting "...

One of several versions of the painting "The Scream". The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I just took an ativan, my little happy pill. I woke up having an anxiety attack. Seriously? I don’t even sleep normally. I’m no stranger to bad dreams. At least once a month my husband has to shake me awake because I am whimpering. In my dream I know I’m dreaming, so I will tell myself to wake up repeatedly and, according to my husband, it ends up sounding like a dying animal.

  Usually After having a bad dream and being shook awake by my startled and concerned husband, I am able to cuddle up next to him and fall back asleep. All I need is him to wrap his arms around me and I sleep the rest of the night without a problem. Oh and I have to cover up my arms. I have come to the conclusion that if I sleep with my arms uncovered and they get cold It will result in me having a bad dream. Every time I have had a bad dream, when I wake up my arms are cold.
   Well this times not my usual. This time is different I cant go back to sleep. No matter what I do, watch TV, read, blog, its not working. My mind wont shut up. My head is full of thoughts. Thoughts that move so fast I cant even make sense of everything. My head is throbbing. I think its causing a migraine.
   Its Monday. The beginning of a new week. Spring break is over and the kids go back to school. I am excited for that lol. I look forward to my quiet mornings when kids are at school. I have an appointment at 1:00 with someone to help me fill out disability paperwork. The Kids and I all have doctors appointments and dentist appointments scheduled this month.
  I have been having major stomach aches and digestion issues too, and I think its a little more than stress causing it. It has been bothering me for a while. I haven’t scheduled an appointment with my doctor to have it checked out. I have convinced myself its because I am too busy tending to more important things. When its actually because I have anxiety so bad I cant even call to schedule a damn appointment for myself.
   Everything scares me lately. I will be posting how everything ends up. For now I need to turn my computer off and lay here with my eyes closed. Eventually I will fall asleep right? I mean that’s what I tell my kids lol.
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2 Comments

  1. I hate those nights when my brain won't shut up because it knows I have lots to do the next day! Then your so tired you don't want to do anything!I'm your newest follower, come visit me if you want(I have to many different one's plus a woman's online support group so just go to http://bridgetsdaughter5.blogspot.com)

  2. Hi! I found your blog from Blogaholics and am now your newest follower on your blog!Feel free to come check mine and and join! http://themusescircle.blogspot.com/Thanks and best wishes!Mia at The Muses Circle


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