~Love, and being in love is priceless~

Love for Arts

Love for Arts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It has been really difficult for me to be “in love” I looked for any little problem as a sign that I’m not really in love. I told so many lies, to everyone including my self, just to make it believable. I didn’t want to be in love.
Being vulnerable, letting someone have that much control over me seemed like some sort of weakness. I had to be strong at all times. I couldn’t let anyone too close because they would see how weak I really am.
I didn’t feel like I deserved to be loved. I thought there was no way my husband could live me especially after everything I put him through.
I know now thats not true. I dont think we always get to choose who we love. Some people have a way of breaking down your walls and never letting you put them back up. I wish I could go back and tell myself how stupid and selfish I was acting. I wish I wouldn’t have been so determined not to be in love. I wasted so much time.
I am so blessed, so lucky to have such an amazing husband. He has given me 3 of the worlds greatest kids. Without a doubt, with everything inside of me I am so in love with him. I dint care how stupid i look or what other people think. I tell him only about a hundred times a day just how much I love him. My chest gets all warm and heavy and i get butterflies just thinking about him. I don’t want him to ever have to question it ever again.
He has been and always will be there for me, and I want him to know I am always here for him as well. We don’t always agree on things and bicker about stupid things but when it comes down to what really matters, we are for once, on the same page. Neither one of us is going anywhere.
I wouldn’t give up being able to cuddle to him every night. Not even for all the money in the world. That feeling that I have been in denial about, the one I was so afraid of really is the most priceless treasure in the world.

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