~My drug of choice~

I will never forget the first time I did meth. I was 16 and totally in love with my boyfriend. I had been seeing him for about 6 months and never wanted to leave his side. He lived with my aunt so i used every excuse i could to stay over there. As soon as I found out he was using, and using with my aunt, I wanted to try it. I didn’t know much about it just that it made you stay up for a long time.
My boyfriend tried telling me not to ever try it, that he wouldn’t give it to me. Ya Right.
He sat next to me on the couch pulled out a piece if tin foil put some little pieces, of what looked like broken glass, on it held a lighter under neath until it melted, it was sizzling and popping then liquified. He slowly let it roll down the foil making a long strip. As it cooled it stuck to the foil. The whole process was mesmerizing. I had never seen anything like it.
All I had ever done, or seen done was pot. Nothing real neat about that. Put it in a pipe and smoke it lol. So I thought this was really cool and insisted on trying it. I continued watching him. He pulled out a straw put it in his mouth and held the flame under the foil again. He moved the flame under the strip this time it didn’t liquify it started smoking. He inhaled the smoke through the straw he had in his mouth.
After he finished I took the foil from him, he didn’t put up a fight. In fact he helped me light it. I didn’t want to do too much because I had never done it before and didn’t know how it would make me feel.
That first hit, felt amazing my heart started beating faster, I got a huge rush and felt wide awake. I felt more alive. I loved it and immediately wanted more. It had officially become my drug of choice. From that day until I quit all I wanted was to get high. All I cared about was where my next bag was coming from. I lied to get money.
I stole. I did returns. I did shit with people I never would have even talked to had I been sober. I quit when I was 18. I quit because I found out I was pregnant. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I’m not perfect and have given in to temptation and used since I quit. When I use I don’t want to stop. It would usually start as a ” just for the night” thing, then turn into months of using. Its hard to stay away from something that feels so good. Even today I want it, but don’t because I know it will ruin my life.

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