So after reading my last few comments, I feel like I should clarify a few things. I like getting comments and feedback from people but i don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression. My husband dosnt beat me. He is a drunk and he can be a major asshole. I usually provoke him, and say shit to piss him off.
He is a really good dad. He has had to take on the majority of the parenting stuff because I wasn’t able to, for whatever reason.
He hasn’t always been a great husband but I wasn’t always the best wife either. We separated for 6 months and after getting back together we are trying to do things differently. He has been going to my appointments, talking to my psychiatrist, and aware of the medications, and the reasons I am taking them. He was never interested before.
As far as his drinking I want him to stop, but I can’t do it for him. He will stop when he is ready to stop. We quit meth which is a lot harder to quit. So i have faith that he will quit drinking. I think us moving and being around his family and away from all the bad shit here, he won’t be so depressed, the desire to drink will go away. Yes I get scared when he’s being a dick. I posted that right after one of his being a dick moments.
I get scared after watching horror movies too. Does it mean anything? I don’t think so. I let my mind wander and freak myself out with all the “what could happens”
I don’t see myself as bad or worthless. I do feel like it sometimes and my posts are my way of getting those feelings out. Thanks to blogging I have talked to other people who have been through similar situations. Sometimes I thought I was the only one this crazy so it is comforting to know others have gone through it and survived. It means I will too.


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