~IDK~

I have been on my medication for about a week and a half. I have been sleeping a lot. I went to days without getting out of bed and taking a shower not something I am proud of lol but who the fuck reads this shit anyways?? My anxiety is fucking ridiculous I don’t think anyone knows how crazy I am. I walked to albertsons, 2 blocks away,  today by myself which is kinda a big deal because lately I don’t do anything by myself. The whole way there I was looking down because if I looked up I seen people and cars and everything started to get blurry and I thought I was going to pass out. I had to repeat in my head what I was getting at the store “coffee, Pepsi, chicken”. I imagined where everything was in the store and what I would get first. I could only get the things on my list, I had to repeat everything over and over in my head to distract myself from all the people, and everything happening around me.
  I am honestly terrified of going back to the hospital. So freaked out by it that I try to pretend everything is ok. I am really emotional lately. My life kinda sucks. I dont know if its just the crappy circumstances that is my life or if I need differant meds. Maybe the ones I’m on need more time to work.

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