~Can u feel it too?~

Am I alone? Am I the only one like this? I go from being numb and not caring about anything or anyone. Ready to die and give up, to oh my god life is AMAZING can you feel it too? I want to share this feeling with the world I really like feeling shit so intensely. Its almost like I’m high. I get such a rush. All my senses are intensified. I smell things, see things, taste things, and feel things like its happening for the first time. Like everything was created for my enjoyment. My emotions are so extreme. If I enjoy something I never want to stop doing it or them lol. But it can go from being really great to get the fuck away from me. If I’m pissed I am REALLY FUCKING pissed. I don’t feel better until I scream, break shit, run away, hurt myself, or god wait a minute what I really need to do is punch you in the face. Yeah punching you would defiantly make me feel better. I can’t sleep sometimes I get so fixated on shit, it replays over and over in my head. All my muscles get tense and I force myself into a ball alone in my bed away from everyone and if I’m lucky I fall asleep. If I am able to sleep that is. Sleeping is one of my favorite things to do. In my dreams I am “normal” I am able to do all the things I am too chicken shit to do in reality. Like punching you in the face. Sometimes i just wish you could see shit they way i do. Its so exhausting. I hate fighting and competing. I feel defeated. I tell you your right just to shut you up. Im done. You will never understand. Ok enough ranting for tonight I’m going to bed.


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